Toothpaste Talk

Sher Helol frmfi zreands

What...You didn't understand that?
You're thinking, "Damn...either this guy's spell check is out of control or he just really bites the turkey at spelling."

We all speak it. It's that early morning or late night babel we speak to our spouses or yell at our kids when we are brushing our teeth, mouith overfilled with toothpaste and spit .

__________________________________________________

Lets Talk Toothpaste!

This morning in the shower, I was brushing my teeth [yes, I happen to do that when I'm in the shower] and at the same time, trying to talk to my sweetie while she was doing her make up. I said to her,

"MAbn Ish sstchnik swfoerrrte syweetwarht !"

Want to try and guess what in the fish sticks and jelly I was saying?

NO, I'm sure you don't.

Well, SHE thought I said was saying, "Maude is stealing Ferrite Sweaters?"
My sweetie asked, "Who is Maude and why in the tuna sandwich is she stealing sweaters made from Ferrites?"

(Ferrite sweaters coming soon to an Etsy shop near you, BTW. )
:)

What I really said was, "Man I stink. Sorry, sweetheart."

(and did I )
_____________________________________________________

Realistically, there should be some sort of grunting sounds, sort of like Morse Code...that one might use when trying to communicate while brushing one's teeth. You might need to send 10 box tops away to get some sort of decoder ring to use in order to figure out the grunting and other sounds, but trust me, it will be worth it.
I mean, they made an entire language for Klingons, so why not for toothpaste garble?
No, I am a not a Trekkie. I just know they have their own language. I don't have a set of Spock ears and I don't give the Vulcan high-five when I see my friends...not there is anything wrong with that. I'm just a fan.
_____________________________________________________

Anyway, back to toothpaste garble....Think of the risk our country is taking!
If President Obama is brushing his teeth one morning and, at the same time, talks some toothpaste garble to his cabinet, such as...

"SMcgibikbkiep nesheds a fbinxillon shadallqwers."

The cabinet might think he's saying...

"Mikiep Needs a Billion Dollars."

and actually send out a check for a billion dollars.

In reality, what the President was REALLY saying was..

"Mikiep Needs A Billion Dollars."
:)

No, you read that correctly. I do need it.
________________________________

So, have a little fun the next time you're talking to the better half with a mouth full of Crest, Colgate, Aim or whatever your favorite cavity fighter of choice is. And maybe try saying,

"Sbbyys qlsets gwut xzfqweeuky."

Don't know what I just said? Well, send away for your secret decoder, 'cuz I not tellin'.

:P

p.s. If the President would like to send me that money, my address is...

{